4 Ways to Change Your Definition of Success
Aug 06, 2020
Do you feel like you are always chasing the feeling of "success"?
I thought life was about setting goals and achieving them.
But when I kept reaching "burn out", I had to take a hard look the beliefs I was holding on to that kept leading me down the same path.
I thought I had to set goals to stay motivated and growing. But I realized that I am already a highly motivated person! I don't need a goal to move me to action. When I set goals, I tend to set crazy expectations on myself and when I don't achieve them, then it triggers negative self talk.
Did that mean I stopped having dreams and growing personally or in my business?
I just changed the way I saw my goals. It wasn't about how many clients I had, how much money I made, how many followers I had on social media (this is a WHOLE other topic)... So I gave up on setting goals.
The only intention I set this year was checking in with myself at my present moment and asking "does it simplify my life and does it bring me joy?" If it didn't then I didn't do it. If it did, then I took action. And guess what?!?
I have never felt more calm and happy in my life.
4 Ways I Changed My Definition of Success
1. How many degrees or certificates you collect.
Well, I didn't need a degree to start my business, so how was I going to feel successful without more education? Don't get me wrong, I had gaps in knowledge, so I took courses and hired coaches, but they were not dependent on my "success" or getting started. I was free to realize that I didn't have to wait for some extra letters after my name to do get started! We do not need the permission or validation of others to do anything.
2. How much you achieve at work.
Well, I became my own boss, so how else was I going to move up in my own business?! The amount that I could "achieve" was infinite!! What was the top for me? I had no idea, so of course I got caught up on trying to achieve what others did in THEIR business. I never asked myself, if their version of "success" was what I actually wanted? When I couldn't keep up and always felt like a failure, I had to learned to not get caught up on other peoples definition of success. My definition of success was building a life that I wanted and no one else can show me or tell me how to do that. I was the only one with those answers. I learned that I am ALREADY successful, because I am fulfilled every day in the present moment.
3. How productive you are.
Oh man. This has been the biggest load of sh*t that I ever bought into. I mean how could I have not?! The whole education system trains you to determine your "grade" of success by how much you studied or memorized. So, of course that thought bled into every aspect of my life. How many checks I could make on my list. How clean I kept my house. How much time I spent with my kids. How many hours I worked on my business... but no one was there to give me a "grade", so I just kept "doing" and being "productive".
I don't have to "earn" feelings of fulfillment or success. I am always deserving. I don't have to do a damn thing to earn rest, happiness or fulfillment.
4. Letting numbers rule you.
How much $ is in your bank account. How many calories you ate or burned. The number on the scale. How many steps you took. How many clients you have. How many followers you have on social media.
Remember that grading things we were taught in school to measure our success?Don't get me wrong, numbers can inform us. But they are not the only measure of our success. Let's take money for an example.
If I didn't get rid of the belief that the state of my bank account correlated with my feelings of success right away, then I would be the most unsuccessful person out there, lol! I haven't had a predictable income in over 3 years and I make less than I did when I was in High School, haha! But I know that I am BUILDING something and I am happy as f*ck. That is more important to me then money. Cause I can always make money...but I won't always be fulfilled in how I make money.
When I eat, I eat for nutrition AND pleasure. I move my body to feel good, not to burn a number of calories. I have never owned a scale and I don't care what number is on my clothes.
Once I gave up setting goals and my out dated version of success, I got to build the life and business that I wanted, not what I've been conditioned to want.
You know what?
It's pretty freaking powerful.