Why am I busting style myths?
Because I've heard the 1000s of reasons as to why women have put limitations on expressing themselves in their style.
For years, we have been operating on an assumption that there is a "right or wrong" way to express ourselves in our clothes. I am here to break those down for you, because I hate rules, I hate limitations and I hate when others try to tell me what to do. I get to choose how I want to feel and how I get to express it and I want the same thing for YOU.
I want women to feel joy, freedom and excitement in their wardrobes like they did when they were kids. I don’t believe we will get there by having limitations placed on us. Limitations based on our size OR age.
Style Myth #1:
"I have to lose weight before I deserve to wear clothes that I love."
First off, this statement operates under the belief that you cannot feel good in your clothes if you live in a bigger body or in any body that is not "thin". So many women in bigger bodies are going to tell you that this is definitely not true.
However, I often hear - “My body is just not where I want it to be and I don't know if it is worth investing in new pieces at this point. I don’t want to delve into a dressing a body that upsets me. I want to wait until I am in a better place”
I am going to dissect this common belief into 5 points because it's a doozy. It requires you to challenge your thoughts and to do some deep unlearning first.
#1. What is it about your body shape that is so upsetting?
Does it keep you alive?
Does it allow you to walk without a wheel chair?
Can you climb mountains and swim in the ocean?
Or are you judging it by appearance alone?
Let’s get some clarity and perspective, especially if you are able bodied. Our body is just trying to survive and it is not here to conform to societal beauty standards that make money off of your insecurities. Let’s stop holding our body hostage from kindness, respect and love. Let’s shift our focus on what our bodies can do, vs what it looks like. Once we do this, it gives us freedom to dress it however we want.
#2. Why do you believe that your body needs to be any other way then it is right now in order to deserve kindness?
Yes, I consider dressing it in clothes that make you feel good NOW as an act of kindness. Your body does not have to earn a goddamn thing. It is deserving to feel good in every season of our life. Whether it is a sickness, childbirth, menopause or just doing what it does every day...AGE. Our bodies are always changing. When we withhold acceptance and love depending on its state, you are going to never feel happy. It will always be elusive because there is only one guarantee, that you and your body are always in a state of flux. So you can fight it. Or embrace it.
#3. If you want to wait until your body is in “in a better place”...what does that actually look like?
How do you know when you will get there? Why can’t you choose to do the work and learn how to be in a better place regardless of the size of your body?
I believe that is so much more sustainable and achievable. But some deep seeded beliefs need to change and some conditioning needs to be challenged and unravelled. I know we have been conditioned to believe that there is only one choice. Thinness = happiness, worthiness & beauty. But there is another option. You can feel happiness, worthiness and beautiful regardless of the size of your body. Our bodies do not have to have a say on how we feel about ourselves or dictate our worthiness. We no longer need to operate under one way of thinking, feeling or living. You always have more options and choices… it is up to you which one you want to choose
#4. What if your body never changes?
Will you just give up on ever dressing in a way that makes you feel amazing? I have worked with so many women who never believed that they could feel good in their clothes in their current body size, but they quickly learned that this story was not true at all. I teach women that it actually has nothing to do with size, but our shape and shape is rarely something that changes...so what I teach you now will still be in effect even if you lose weight.
#5. Do you want to be kind to yourself and others?
How you treat yourself is also a reflection of how you view and treat others. Want to be a kinder person, then start with yourself. I believe that treating ourselves with kindness and respect in any season of our life or any size of our body is more desirable than withholding kindness until “such and such happens”. The future literally does not exist. All we have is now and we can practice kindness every day.
No one else can give that to you, only you can.
PS: Stay Tuned for Style Myth #2!