As a Style Coach for the past 6 years, these are the pieces that no longer EARN their place in my wardrobe.
Keep these in mind the next time you want to go shopping.
1. Pieces that are a bit too small in hopes that I eventually fit into them (screw oppressive beauty ideals). My body is a GOOD body and it deserves kindness and compassion. Putting clothes on it that fit NOW is and act of respect and love.
2. Clothes that I don't love or really need just because it's a good deal or on sale. I've had to release so many pieces over the years because it was a good deal. I ended up settling on something just because it was cheap and I didn't really have a plan on how to wear it or even love it. I love a good sale, but shop with a plan and a list FIRST. Then wait for it to go on sale if you are shopping on a budget. You can shop the sales rack...but ONLY for pieces on your list.
3. Clothes that are not on my list. In my experience, the pieces I don't...
The first time was in my mid 20's. I decided to leave my 5 year old child's father (don't worry, it's been almost 20 years since and it was the BEST decision we made, we co-parented well and have a great relationship with each other and with our now 22 year old). I moved in with my parents for 3 years and worked full-time while getting my Masters Degree in Education. I was then able to get a better position in my career and was able to afford a house on my own. This was also when I started to date my now husband who was my high school sweetheart.
Burning my life down was a great decision.
The second time was from December 2022 to March 2023.
At the time there was some family stress going on and I felt like I was supporting everyone else and no one was supporting me. PLUS, I just started to feel "off" with my mental health. Looking back, that "off" feeling had been happening for a...
Before we dive into it, I want to say that finding a great pair of jeans is never worth forcing, torturing yourself or wasting money on. You don’t have to wear jeans if they don’t feel good to you. There are so many other alternatives for a casual pant (ex: jogger, elevated jogger, khaki, corduroy, leggings, etc…)
However, if you love jeans or love the look of jeans, then let’s dive into finding the best pair of jeans that we can for you.
Unfortunately there is no easy answer or solution. Sorry….that’s probably not what you wanted to hear.
Maybe it seems SO EASY for others. But trust me, unless you have a horseshoe up your bum or have one of those bodies that the fashion industry caters to, it is always a process for finding the right jeans for most people.
You don’t always get to see the numerous pairs that people try on before they find the best pair for them. Me included. And on top of that, the best pair of jeans for my body has...
When we heal ourselves, we can heal the world.
We absolutely have an impact on others. Whether it's our children, family, close friends and our community. They hear what we say. They see what we do. They participate in our conversations.
We can be a light and a model for discarding outdated and harmful ways of treating bodies.
When we stop participating in oppressive and unrealistic practices around beauty, health and or our bodies, we can break the cycle.
But we CANNOT STOP THERE. We can't love our bodies into dismantling systems that oppress bodies.
We need to heal ourselves AND end white supremacy. Fight for trans rights. Demand weight neutral health care. End body hierarchies in value and worth. Provide an inclusive environment for those with disabilities (visible or invisible).
What actionable steps can you take to start to dismantle the systems that oppress bodies in yourself and/or in our society?
**No action is too small AND it can change over time.
No matter how much I modeled and taught her about radically accepting herself and her body, I knew that the misogynist, ableist and fatphobic conditioning around our bodies would seep its way into her young brain.
Last night we were reading a book about her changing body and what to expect. It was a great jumping off point to open up a safe space for her to ask questions and to have open and vulnerable talks with me.
She was looking through the book and I patiently waited to see what was going to come up for her.
She looked at me with her big green eyes and I could hear the vulnerability in her voice as she asked, “Mommy, is it normal to not like parts of your body?”.
I was dreading and hoping she would never ask this question.
But at the same time I’m a realist and I know the world we live in. I work with clients every day who, after decades of hating...
For the past 2 years, I’ve changed my relationship with my consumption and wanting to align my wardrobe closer to my values.
I’m paying more attention to who makes my clothes and understanding that someone is paying a high price (harmful work conditions, low wages and harmful to our planet) for our ease of access to fast fashion.
I’m paying attention to how my clothes are made and the impact on our environment.
As a very privileged person, I feel like it's my responsibility (as well as fashion retailers and governments) to stop harming our planet and the slave labour of mostly brown and black people for the sake of capitalism and our ability to over consume.
Am I perfect at this? Absolutely not.
But small change is better than no change. Screw perfectionism or All or Nothing Thinking. There are small actionable steps we can make today to help bring less harm to our planet and to those who make our clothes.
I know it can be overwhelming, so I'm...
Let me set a common scene...
Maybe it's getting warmer outside and the sun is shining brighter. You feel like you're coming out of hibernation and are feeling rejuvenated.
You skip to your closet (well, you might not actually be skipping, but I'm just trying to set the scene) cause it's time to dig out your Spring and Summer wardrobe.
You open your closet doors full of hope and excitement...
But then your shoulders deflate and SIGH.
You realize that none of your the clothes from last season fit, their old and ratty or you're just plain bored with them.
Can you relate to the picture below (no matter the size of your butt)?
Right now, you have two options on how to move forward:
1. Close your doors and ignore it. You can keep wearing the same clothes piled in your floor right? Hey, if this fully serves and supports you, then this a completely valid option. If this doesn't feel supportive, then move option #2....
One of the benefits to helping my clients achieve their wardrobe needs and goals is to help them slow down their consumption and waste. They buy less clothes that they don't wear, therefore reducing the amount of waste in the land fills and oceans (and also less waste of their time and money).
This has led me to more deeply look at sustainability, ethically sourcing and the reasons behind "why we buy".
Is there such thing as "ethical consumption"? Is that a thing? What about instead, we call it intentional consumption? Especially with Black Friday coming and the Holiday season on its way.
I thought I would share what intentional consumption means to me:
I've recently wrapped up a 10x10 challenge
I have done several in the past and I've always learned something new about my wardrobe and created new outfits that I never would have tried before.
So what exactly is a 10x10 challenge?
Trust me, I tried to explain it to my husband and it took in awhile to grasp it, so I have a guide that you can download that breaks it down further, but the short answer is...